Thought id update a lil earlier this time... 4:30 instead of 5:30 !!! RAR!

Whew i feel a lot better after telling or confessing or ... w/e ~ I wont say anything because i dont want blah blah blah spreading around. Not yet~ It made me all keke tho

Another thing. Gaining my forgiveness is a very easy thing, i forgive almost anyone for anything. Somethings take a little longer for me to "forgive and forget" but gaining my trust back is a complete different thing. A couple have lost all of my trust, things wont be the same for awhile. Actually im going to make sure a few things dont go back to what they were before.

New years eve now... 2005 is a few hours away basically... Eh time goes by really fast, damnit thats not good.

Kris's first day of work at publix was today, he paid a lil visit after he was done but i just played Knights of Old Rep. 2 all day, i didnt want to see/talk/come in contact with anyone. It was my day to sit on my bed and play Kotor 2 all day and i did just that. I missed going to the bowling alley with Edwin n Rudy but theres always next time, cept sabrina was there~.

But mmm new years plans... None, ill be spontaneous... Even if i end up doing nothing

Hmmm 2005 tho... January nothing will be happening much but February... Ugh~ I want to stop time, or better yet go back in time... Correct somethings, do things differently but that wont be happening. Im turning 18 and the days getting closer and closer, i dont even know if im going to have a "party". I see no point, it wont be any differnt from nights where everyone was over except this time ill be the center of attention. I dont want to be the center of attention, i just enjoy being able to get my friends together and enjoy eachothers company. But gleh.

Well Feb. is also Take Action Tour (Sugar Cult, Early Nov., Hawthorne Heights n HEAD AUTOMATICA!! <--FUK YA!) then Taste of Chaos ... omfg The Used (who suk live), CHEMICAL ROMANCE, SENSES FAIL, KILLSWITCH ENGAGE n UNDEROATH!!! I cant wait for those 2 shows. Im gonna be so messed up by the end of both shows

I cant think of anything else to babble on about so yeah... Make sure you get your daily dose of Stabbing Westward !!! ok... like uhm...

Josh out

5:20 in the morning, cant sleep... Well today (as in Dec 29) Went to Santas Enchanted Forest with Kris and Joey. Shelly was also going to come but that didnt work out, that sucked but its okay wasnt her fault. Kind of hard to disappoint me now n days anyway. Despite shelly not being able to go we still had a good time. Saw Scott, Jamie and some other south dade people. We left around 10:30 (didnt stay too long) and went to kris's then my hosue then dropped off joey. I played Knights of Old Republic 2 all night... Cept now of course.

Been thinking lately on different things... Turning 18 and graduating is a big part of it. Its been ... keeping me down. Need to settle the past so it will stop haunting me. and uh other things

As for today and the days till sunday i have no idea. I stopped planning, maybe im done planning for everything. I wouldnt mind a week to myself for "self soothing". I think thats what i need, a break from things but then again schools starting and its kinda hard to stay to myself when i see everyone everyday. So that wont be happening, would be nice but not happening.

WTF am i talking about anyways O_O

I shall ponder more on these things when its not 5:30 in the morning

I think i kinda want school to start... Id be able to see ... certain ppl again

Josh out

Ive been having a lot of thoughts on many things that i dont feel like getting into...

so meanwhile~

what ive been up to~

Dec 25 - Xmas - We all woke up around 10:30 to open presents, got money, another ipod (U2 - 20 gig), Nintendo DS and clothes n stuff. Had dinner later. Did whatever later and yeah later

Dec 26 sunday - Grandparents left - saw Meet the Fockers with my pop, bought star wars old republic 2 - played it all night - probly did something else

Dec 27 - ... mad at basically every1

Dec 28 - still mad... went out with parents... Kris came with us to Fudruckers and to see oceans 12... I loved oceans 11 but this sequel just dragged on

Wewt past 4 days explained with few words

I have nothing more to say

Josh out

Wtf?

When did i become the leader of everything? Whenever something happens with someone its like im automatically involved, if someone is accidently forgotten to be in one of our "Events" its my fault and everything else. I cant exactly keep track of EVERY little thing.

And it gets really bad when someone is mad at me because i forgot something out of all the hundreds of things im trying to keep up with and its all me because im the "leader"... I dont exactly remember getting this position. Grr~

Anyways Xmas eve sucks

I stayed up Wed night talking to Andrea and playing CS with jake (I hate CS)

Thursday (Dec 23) around 5 Jesse n Eric came, we went to Best Buy (jake came along aswell) Jesse bought his Gamecube. After that we went to sunset. We chilled around n saw Blade 3. Was better than i expected~ We then went to Miami Subs, got a bite to eat n headed home. They poured water on me (fuk u guys)

Welp have agood xmas i suppose, not in a very Merry Christmas mood.

Josh out

Maybe i should move AGAIN... Every month i tell ya and i hate this.

Today nothing happened.. Went to Guitar Center with Jake and his mom, jake got his synth wah. Came back home... eric n jesse were there... They put me in the trunk of erics car (fuk u guys)and now im just sitting here thinking... Thinking is bad

Xmas is in a few days, im far from feeling the "christmas spirit". If i had the choice id skip the entire holiday, im not too much into faking myself into being happy. Grandparents are coming down tomorrow.

If it wasnt for my friends... Whaooo id be a mess. They make me happy. So does music... La la la~

Well i think ill make the night fly by watching Big Fish

Josh out

Wee~

on Monday (Dec 20) Shelly, Jesse n Jake came over. We just chilled n messed around then later Eric, Barney, Joey and Kris came over. More chillin, Jesse n I tickled Shelly a lot... Its because she didnt help me when i cried for help before and ACTUALLY WENT AGAINST ME RAR RAR RAR!!! Heres some of them being amazed by GTA *shrug*



Later on in the night we got in the van with my electic geetah n mini amp and my acoustic... We went to taco bell but the inside was closed so eric saw this group of about 5 kids then eric said GET OUT! So we (Joey, Eric n I) and eric n I started playin the chord progression of dust in the wind and followed them for a little. Was pretty funny~ We got back in the car and drove by them and played for a second or 2 then eric yelled "GOD BLESS YOU!" and we drove off... We then had an idea to go to IHOP and we were gonna go in and play the metal part of one but it was closed for a staff party :(

We dropped shelly off and we went into the forest for an hour or so. James n John raped the place, i knew they would. It kinda makes me angry.

Today (Dec 21) i woke up with no plans. Rudy, Dezy n Edwin showed up at my door then i told jake to come over. About 30 min to an hour later my mom dropped us off at the bowling alley and we played a game or 2 of DDR. After that we walked to the bus stop but it was only like 7:30 so were like fuk it lets walk. We walked to the outlet mall and stopped at Hollywood Video where Eric was working cuz i knew he was working so we said hi to him. Then the Pet place for a litle then Jake, dezy n I went to publix for a min while the rest went to Specs. I wanted to see if Andrea was working and sure enough she was, i had to look at her twice to make sure it was her. She looked so different in the Publix Uniform in a dorky cute way.

Went back to Specs where everyone else was. Taylor walked in so said hi to him~ I was thinking about Michelle and so what did i find? A Michelle branch cd used!!! Ooooo~ So i bought Spirit room. (shes so gonna kill me)

After we walked to Gamestop for awhile then went to the bus stop and headed home. Was pretty fun, got to hang out with the dudes.

Kris all "gangsta"


The lead singer of MSI holdin a sign before a show starts. MSI is so pimp =p


And also Michelle since i havent seen her since shes grounded :(


But now... RANT!
Someone wrote "Gus is gay" and "Gus is fucking gay" on my poster board and now im going to have to white it out. Now thats just rude, not because of what it says but because someone wrote it on my poster board which is my friends signing on it and someone putting something like that. Its not only disrespectful gus but to me aswell. Please dont do stupid crap like that.

Rant 2: High school is almost over... ... ... *sigh*

Josh out

Michelles grounded *@&#$%&@*$&#!!!

Grr poo

Yesterday saturday (Dec 18) was fun!!!! My dad dropped Jesse n I to sunset. I tried getting a hold of michelle but sinces shes grounded (Oops) that didnt work. We went and met up with Shelly about an hour after we got there. I was so happy to see her!!! Its been before school started since i seen her and i missed shellers a lot! We saw Unfort. Events and it was a pretty good movie.. Maybe ill read the book! *COUGH COUGH* After that we kinda walked on the outskirts of the mall and we were sitting at this one place and these 12 black guys walking by and theyre all like "Yo nigga i dare you to say something" "Yo bitch throw a cup at those motha fuckers" and they threw a cup near us... Idiots... Not too long after these 2 "goth kids" came up to us and started talking.. but Jesse talked to them and Bsed soooo bad omg haha.. Hes like "Yeah were from england and were a metal band and he (points at me) is from korea" and just went on from there. And when he said were from england the guy is like "Oh theres lots of people like us there!" I wanted to just burst out laughing, it was so funny. 14 year olds these days *sigh* I was just a lonely loozah when i was 14~



We were gonna catch the bus but shelly brought us home! That was so nice of her!

Today went to Jesses at noonish or something. Around 1 we went to Erics and chilled there then uh... Got burger king and now im home. Today is just gonna be play guitar day because thats all i want to do. Wahhhh waaaah waaaaaaaaaaaaah!

and.... CAT IN A BOX


also... Jakes been playing way too much GTA



Josh out

Keke im cheerful~

ok WTF!? At 2PM today i recieve a picture mail.. And what is it? Alley kissing some guy. WHAT THE HELL IS THAT SHIT!? That pisses me off so much, this is why i dont and WILL NOT speak to her. That just pushes my limit.

Well i dont remember what happened this week that much since im PISSED OFF.

Tuesday (Dec 14) Had study group
Wed (Dec 15) Studied
Thurs (Dec 16) Took the Exam, dont know how i did then when the bell rang I went to the SHAPE meeting and joined that. After that i went to the Air Force office with my dad to talk to them.

Today I went to school on the national skip day for everyone. There was a surprising amount of people there actually. During the first class i was looking for Michelle since she wasnt there in the morning so i got her schedule and was gonna get out of class but the schedule was different today so i didnt. Then i had to go runnin looking for her but i found her. Met up with Jake, Micheal n Krystle and went to my house. We watched team america and just chilled around.

Apparently the other day.. or yesterday Michelle did a shoutout to me on Zeta... I think thats awesome. Michelle is really cool, i enjoy being with her a lot. =)

BS
Josh out

Sunday (Dec 12) Was a bunch of nothing. Dom came during the day for an hour or 2 for us to do our Gov notes for the Exam on thursday. Jake also came over but he just came over to play San Andreas all night n stayed in my room. In the night i talked to Andrea for a lil then uhm... PLayed geetah and slept.

Monday (Dec 13) Normal day of school. Well except for homeroom where arturo threw Barneys hat on top of a portable and heres us trying to get it



The rest of the day really sucked, Krystle didnt come to school, i couldnt see Mel and english always sucks. When the bell rang Kris found me and we hung out. We went to KausBerry to get a milkshake and some buns. After that we went to Wal-Mart looking for some plastic chairs but they didnt have any so we went to Home Depot and got 4 chairs, we spent 40 bux. After that, went to my house, ate and got jake. We then headed to the forest place and squeezed the chairs in thru all the trees and branches. Then we started a camp fire



Later on Lauren, James and John came in but Jake and I left around 9:30. The rest of the night was nothing.

I hate having a crush on someone *Sigh*

Josh out

If your not able to go on my site its cuz the 2ya host keeps coming down, its been gay lately...

Friday (Dec 10) was the Senior Bowling thing. It wasnt bad. Nat couldnt make it so i was kinda sad since she was a big reason for me even going. I chilled with Savannah and others while we bowled.



I sucked of course. Played some pool did some other things. Talked to this girl Amanda in which ive seen and heard things about her but never really talked to her. Shes cool.



Came back to school at around 2PM and just walked around till the bell rang. It didnt exactly "cheer me up" as i hoped for but i still had fun.

After school i went to the Falls with Jake and Kris. We saw Tanya, Becca and some people they knew. We also saw Shibby workin :)



We chilled there for maybe 2 hours or so and went to Comp USA and saw Brandt there. After comp usa we went to Taco Bell and talked to that girl we always see working in there for a little. After we headed to Mels and Krystles house but they werent home yet so we just walked around. They came home about 40 min after and Kori was with them and we just sat around outside. I was really happy even tho mel kept pulling my hair. A police officer came and said "Ok the parties over, take it inside" i guess we (points at mel) were being too loud. Ooops. We left a lil before 1AM. I was really YaY!... After that we just slept at Kris's but jake stayed up all night playing GTA.

Today (Dec 11) I woke up around 11:30 and we worked outside with Kris and them ppls to chop down trees and dumped the stuff at the dumpster place. We ate at Apple Bees after then uh... Headed back and we went into the woods infront of kris's house and just explored around.




We then found this area and went back to the house and brought a chainsaw back to clear out the area. We worked on it about 2 hours. Its gonna be our camping chill place now :) I wanted to hang out with Mel and Krystle today too but ...w/e. I wasnt so YaY! today. Now were just at my house doing nothing.

Josh out

And look!! Kris finally passed the FCAT Ooo~

I just got home from going to Outback with my mom and dad, my mom paid me 50$ to get a haircut so i was just OK and got one. Went to target after and bought a cd and a pair of earbuds.

The day of school was really really really crappy. Maybe jesse is right, maybe i should stop what im trying to do. I dont even know if im "Trying". Im starting to feel lonely again. In 4th period was talking to krystle, all that came to me was thinking about back then. Its been a long time now and not much has changed, I lie and put it behind me but it hasnt really done anything but make me realize how much im trying to ignore it all. Then i find out some things i did not want to know. Ugh. I think i will stop it but i seem to be doing this every other month with someone different. This always happens to me.

Tomorrow is the senior bowling trip... Maybe itll cheer me up

Josh out

Gah im really confused on a few things and not sure what to think. I wish there would be abubble on some peoples heads on what they think.

Anyways on tuesday (Dec 7) was a normal day of school, nothing exciting. Mel and Krystle stayed home. So i was alone for spanish while we watched a movie and there was no reason for me to get out of english when we werent doing anything since i couldnt see mel. Gleh~

After school I took a nap and my dad woke me up and we went to the sprint store and my dad and I got new phones. I didnt even ask for it but he bought, im not complaining :) It cost 860$ for both our phones... INSANE! But the camera is a lot better and that is a good thing for me since i use the camera phone a lot. After that we went to CVS and home depot. I got some velcro for my pedal board im gonna make later.

Wed (Dec 8) another normal day of school. During lunch i was with natalie and we just kinda convinced ourselves to go to the senior field trip to don carters (what kind of field trip is that rofl). I didnt have money so nat spotted me to pay her back but the money she spotted me with and to pay herself with was Savanna's moms money so nat had to go to publix after school to get money. I felt bad lol. I had an exam for Gov. I failed... I studied too so i was kinda pissed but it was REALLY hard, im starting study group for AP Gov now too lol =p

When the bell rang i found out that some poeple went skipping got caught, 2 security gaurds came to the hills in a nice truck and sent everyone back to school. I thought that was kinda funny. See, stay in school kiddies and dont skip! Youll get caught (like im one to talk)

After school i stayed till 4 for the NVP club, joey and barney joined that day. I tried getting Michelle to join but she couldnt get ahold of her mom if she could. I really want Mel in but i dunno.




When i got home i took an hour nap and then Jason, Siobhan, Jake and I went to Dolphin mall around 6:30 till 10. I did some of my unusual Xmas shopping for people, im still trying to think of some other stuff to give. When we came home i just played some geetah and slept.

Today ... its the morning... Im tired... I gave Mel a santa hat. Its hot in the office today. Well... Last night Damageplan was playing in a club in Columbus and someone had a gun in the show and shot and KILLED 4 people including Dimebag. (The guitarist) Its a sad day =/ He was a great guitarist and used that Whammy Pedal that went WaAaAaAA WeeeeEee WoOooOo NeEeeee and he was awesome. Shit like that kinda makes me scared of going to a show now... WEWT Next month Jimmy Eat World maybe! =p

Josh out

BUZZ BAKE SELL WAS AWESOME~

But first!

Thursday O_O (Dec 2) I went to Dolphin Mall with my dad and Got me a hoodie, a new guitar cable, some strings and we then ate at Dave n Busters. Theres this glow n the dark bowling alley upstairs and it looked so cool!! Oooo!

Friday (Dec 3) not much but later in the night jake and i just chilled outside, tried to take a sign but it was bolted so we went to jasons house, knocked on his window and he stepped out of the house with a flashlight and we pretended to jump him saying "gimme yo money gimme yo money" and his mom n dad opened the door really fast thinking he was getting mugged... Was hilarious lol~ Siobhan came home and we just chilled outside for a while.

And the awesome day... SATURDAY! BUZZ BAKE~ (Dec 4) The show was completely AWESOMEFUL~ The best show i been to awhile. We left at around 7 for the show, we checked into the hotel first then headed to the place. The first few bands sucked the penis so we just walked around and later Dirly, Katie, Edwin, Rudy came. We later found Lee, Summer, Richard, Abby, Nelson and Jenna as well. The first decent band was on main stage: Lit. They were ok, i sat alone in our "seats" for most of the set while the others were somewhere. Yes our "seats" kekeke~ The plan worked, if you dont know what our plan was. We photoshopped a seat ticket to the front section so we were there for all the main stage performances. A quick recap of some of the bands. Nonpoint sucked that day some reason, Skindred is always straight.

Then up was muse.


They were AWESOME! I missed like 2 songs but its okay. They totally rocked and i was so happy i got to see them. I hope i can see them sometime again. YOU MUST SEE THEM~

After was Lost Prophets, Kottonmouth Kings, Story of the Year, and Presidents of the USA. I missed Presidents and we left for Kottonmouth Kings cause theyre gay. We were there for like last 3 songs for Story and jesse got into it a lot in the pit. I enjoyed Lost Prophets, they did a better set at Campus Invasion tho.After seeing story we just sat in the second stage in the back till the next band was on. We missed Sevendust but we all seen them enough.

Now for one of the big highlights of the night. I cant believe i actually really like this band now. Theyre actually one of my favorite bands to see~ O_O *sigh* Taking Back Sunday.


OMFG it was ONE OF THE BEST performances ive seen. So much energy and it was so damn fun. Why? Jesse, Edwin, Barney, Jake and I were in a crowded area and we couldnt move and crowd surfers are everywhere but when that music started. We went NUTS, we started every mosh we were in and it was so damn fun. I loved it so much! By the end of their set I wanted to die because i was so exhausted. Moshing is so much fun when its your friends. It was OUR PIT!

After that awesome TBS set was The Used, we missed most of them and they disappointed me a lot. They did theyre crap soft songs. Then New Found Glory came on. I didnt like them either... At all...

But whatever. The other highlight was KORN!



Korn did an awesome job. Theres not much i can say besides that. Trust me. AWESOME. It makes me wish i went to the LP and Korn show, it wouldve rocked so much.

So the best parts of the night were seeing Muse, being in the best damn pit i EVER been in with my friends during Taking Back Sunday and seeing Korn.

After the show we went to Dennys, ate and went to the hotel room. By this time we were tired as all hell and it was about 1:30 AM. So what do we do? We walk around the hotel adventuring. Wasnt too much to go adventuring tho lol. We went back about 30-40 min and went to sleep. We woke up and 2 of us took a shower and headed home. I slept in the back and i was sweating and feeling like ass but i didnt care. Got home and took the best feeling shower i had in awhile.

But yes... Buzz Bake 2004 ROCKED ... HARD! So fun :)

as for sunday. Just layed around and relaxed. Today just a regular day of school, Allie, Mel and Krystle were in the library for a little. It made all YaY! when i was all Bleh~ but then they had to go and i was all Bleh~ again. Hmm i wonder...
Well after school i watched Hero... Was a really good movie and i enjoyed it then i tooka nap.. Woke up... Went to Best Buy with my parents, then a restruant, then the falls and my mom forced me to buy shoes i didnt want or need and walked around after then came home.

Josh out

Well today my dads back... I came home and around 3:30 I went with my mom to the airport to pick up my dad. I was happy to see him again but i realized the weekend hangouts and hangouts in general at the house will be to a minimal... Parties over guys lol, dont worry though.

Other than that nothing. During school I saw mel in my lunch so that got me happy.

My dad brought back a bunch of things, mainly stuff for me from Japan. He went to japan to go on another plane to fly here, so he got a lot of stuff like gum, shirt, hat, scroll ect. Totally dig it.

Welp thats all... So uhm... Heres us "working" in precal (except lee, wasnt a pic of her)






Josh out

Tuesday (Nov 30) - Normal day of school nothing exciting. Except i got my Line 6 Distortion Modeler!!!


The distortions on it are great and sound amazing. Now i need to sell my old one. RP 300A for 125$ anyone? =p

Today i woke up but couldnt really get up and i was feeling really bad so i slept another 2 hours and would try again. I did and went to school but after an hour i couldnt really take it anymore. My stomach was feeling really really bad so i called my mom and she picked me up. As we drove home and passed the park I saw Mel, Krystle and Allie there again, i probly woulda been there with them if i didnt so crappy~. I slept until 3:30ish and ate some and took some meds and i felt a lot better. I feel fine n dandy rite now matter of fact~

Around 5:30 Nat came and at about 6 everyone else came for study group to do our pre-cal homework.


Its a lot of fun when they come over, we have fun and get our homework done. Cant complain :) Nat came for the first time too so thats really awesome and she has the coolest ride.

THE BUS!


Eric came over for a few min to enter some contest and jake is over. Gotta do shipp notes now *sigh*

Everything was good today besides me feeling like poo~ My dad comes home soon.

And Joey on meh couch~!


Josh out