Wee good stuff and im sleepy *snore*

I woke up at 9:30 AM today to buy greenday tickets and I went to tonys/francis's house with jake to order them. We were on the SECOND they were on sale and they completely sold out on general admission so we didnt buy them. We coulda got good seat tickets but no, seats dont go too well for us. So I went home and went to sleep. People called me and woke me up like Alley. Went back to sleep till around 1PM and talked to Michelle some.

My plan was just to sit around home all day but I went online and Lee invited me to hang out with her so i was like SWEET OK. While I was online Christine popped on and I dont know her at all really. See her at lunch and couple other places but never really talked to her so I asked Lee if she could come along, Lee knows her so she encouraged it.

Around 5 they picked me up and we headed to the metro and from there we took it to Sunset.



While on the metro, at firs there was this guy seating near us who was jamming out to linkin park and "singing along to it" but he didnt know the words so he was just mummbling stuff and moving around in his seat n stuff... Was so funny



We got to sunset and we saw the movie Constantine. It wasnt bad, Keanu actually did a pretty good job acting for once lol. The movie isnt scary but are parts that "might" make you jump or w/e a little... Well anyways Christine is extremely jumpy, I couldnt help but laugh. Deff. gotta see a scary movie with her sometime, watching her would be more entertaining than the movie lol. During the movie I got a call from AJ, Meghans house phone and Allies cell and i was just like Uhmmm... I didnt answer it cuz we were in the theatre so after the movie was over they called to ask me if I was still in sunset since i told AJ id be going there earlier. So they came to sunset to chill with me. Aww cool =)





I bought 2 CDs... Armor for Sleep, I was curious about them and I only heard 1 song from them and I liked it. Theyre going on tour with Say anything so I had to get it :) Then I was short on cash so Meghan bought me Atticus 3 (wewt) im paying her back tho lol.

Lee had to go drop Kristine off since she had a curfew so Lee, Cameron and Christine went back home and I went home with AJ, Allie n Meghan since they were coming over.
On the way home we stopped at Taco Bell and omg... I never seen 3 poeple have such a HARD time ordering food at a drive thru lol. They were just laughing and having no idea what the hell they wanted or what to do with the money n stuff and meghan was like "we want seperate bills" ... at a drive thru? rofl

We EVENTUALLY got home and ate n chilled.



Meghan is SO blonde haha. Shes pretty airheadish and ditzy sometimes but never as much as she was tonight, was so funny just listening to her and the way she acted in general. Good stuff Good stuff

Josh out

PS Ill fix links to archives later

Today was koo :)

FIELD TRIP!! WEEEE OOOO!!! WEEE!!

We went to FIU today for an engineering thing where the students and faculty had presentations n stuff. So us techies went for the adventure!




When we got there we just stood around in an open field waiting for the event to start so yeah we stood around. Once it was opened we just wondered around, we hardly stayed around for any of the presentations or anything lol. First thing we looked for was a starbucks and there wasnt one.. We were pissed GRR!@!

We basically screwed around and just went anywhere and everywhere. Alienware was one of the hosts there and we asked this 1 guy for freebies but he was an asshole to us and we wanted our freebies damnit. So what did we do? We stole posters, heres mine



At the end when we had to go on the bus's.. Us techies yoinked



It was hilarious, we cut 1 rope and ran away then we kept cutting them and running back and forth until we grabbed it. Morales was like "what the hell did you guys take?" and were like... nothinggggg then he responded with "Dont bullshit, youll only make it worse" and we told him and just said to ask and dotn steal. Hey were South Dade gotta represent the ghetto yo.

During the trip Kurt gave us techs a nick name... T-Unit... Oooo the 1337ness.. I was lil T and jake was "T-Pot" haha.



After school I looked for Mel but couldnt find her so i went back to class and just sat there and tried to sleep.

When I got back from school I slept for a little until people kept waking me up. Mel was suppost to come over but she ended up not going to school so shes not able to go anywhere for a week, wewt way to go *sigh*

Michelle called me @ katies, she should of invited me ! Rar ill kill her.. KILL HER!! K-I-L-L! Maybe not

Sometime after Kris called me about an interesting thing. The chairs and blocks in the forest were all destroyed by someone. We automatically thought edwin and them so Kris came and JAke and I went with KRis, James and John to Edwins house to ask him about it but he wasnt home so I called rudy and edwin was with him.

We went to the forest and Kris's dad called and said he saw an old man heading towards that direction with a sledge hammer so it couldve been him. When I went in there it was obvious the damage wasnt from that and the machetes were in a tree up high and a chair (said by them) was about 10ft in the air (lol). Everything together was a 100$ and it pissed us off. Edwin had some guys after him and the crew because of something and it couldve been them but not for certain.

We stayed there and made a fire. Since one of the chairs was completely trashed and not stable. We used it as wood



After a few hours in there we got outside and lit some firecrackers and headed home.

While in the forest Kris and James basically told me im wasting my time... Maybe theyre right... Its been awhile now and decisions need to be made.

Josh out

Monday (Feb 21) School... Nothing much of it. After school I went home and Oscar n Jake came over for alil till I had to go. I had to go for TRaffic school. Ugh boring stuff. I sat there waiting texting Andrea for like an hour. During the break I was gonna call Mel but uhm she was mad at me for not calling her the night before. I was just kinda like "uhm" it wasnt a big deal but yeah stuff n stuff. After the class we passed by Mel but she left the house, I really wanted to speak to her about it all. She called me a disappointment during the conversation and it really upset me that night.

Tuesday (Feb 22nd) Started off a really crappy day. Was really bummed out in the morning, Bummed out during 3rd period, walked around during lunch and *shrug*... Mel caught me walking to Shipps class and she apologized for calling me that and everything else. It made me feel better. After school I took a nap and then I went to Dolphin Mall with Jason, His G/f and Jake. We got there around 6:30 or 7 and just did whatever. I bought a new thingy for my room! Ooooo more distracting lights



We got home around 11, the time passed by really fast. I had a fun night with them.

Wed (Feb 23rd)Reg tech support day. Actually its a lil more of a different tech support day. Due to Miami Dade being ghetto and South Dade being filled with idiots which would exlain the D grade the school has... WE HAVE NO MONEY! Lol were almost COMPLETELY out of ink carts. We went into our storage room and had to take out carts from unopened printer boxes (GHETTO!) lol its sad =/

For 4th period I got my work and got excused outa class. Did some of my work and went into 1st lunch where I sat with Mel, Eric n Lee. Eric lip got slipt from being really chap, must suck =/ After 1st lunch, I finished my work in a few minutes and went to 2nd lunch. Chilled with Michelle, It was really cool, she made me smile and laugh. After 2nd lunch I went back to spanish class. 6th period was BORING OMFG! WE read more from the book and Zzz everyone fell asleep. Even Mrs Martin was haha it was funny tho.

After school I came home and I had some visiters




Katie, Edwin, Rudy, Micheal n Juan stopped by for a little bit until I had to leave. Jake came and soon Jesse and Eric came and we headed out... What for? ATREYU AND UNEARTH BABEH!



We got lost a lil cause we made a wrong exit so were gonna be late to the show we figured and wed end up missing a band. When we were near the revolution we were lost and didnt know where it was (even tho weve all been there a few times lol) so eric made a crazy ass turn to go to CVS and ask for directions. As we were at a red light a lady knocks on the window and tells Eric his hub cap fell off on his "U-Turn" lol... So Jake and Jesse ran outa the car to get it and we went to CVS and asked a cop for directions. When we were walking in the entrance that is when eric saw him and hes like "oh oh COP COP COP!" cr@zy nigguh lol. After getting the hub cap we headed to the show. WE walked in and well there was nobody there were just like WTF MATE!? and nothing was set up on the stage then we noticed a door was open. Went in there and its an entirely different stage. It was so weird and I didnt know that there were 2 stages at the revolution. It reminded me of the Hard Rock Cafe but smaller. I liked it a lot.

First band was Scars of Tomorrow, we came in right when they started playing. They werent bad.

2nd Band was Norma Jean, we were on the floor for them but in the back of the crowd. They were CRAZY!. Theyre form of metal isnt normal stuff, its differnt. And they had these lights that made it a really interesting thing to watch. I liked it.

3rd was UNEARTH! The set was AMAZING and the crowd... My plan was to go INSANE during unearth, I saved all my energy for them but uhm... I think everyone else did too. The entire floor was moshing but this wasnt just regular moshing. People were beating the SHIT out of eachother. Like 80% of them were this huge white, skinhead guys kicking and punching the hell out of one another. Dude i was literally kinda scared and thats never happened before. But Unearth did all my favorite songs and they were just amazing. THEY ROX

After them was Atreyu, i heard some of their songs but i wasnt too familiar with them. I can kinda compare them to Underoath so they were kinda out of place music wise even tho they were headlining. Jake, Jesse and I moshed during them, people werent crazy and killing eachother lol. I had a lot of fun. I crowd surfed about 4 times I think. I always fell somewhere in the crowd but the last time I surfed I fell right over the barracade, hit my side on the bar holding it, and scraped my arm. Wewt! lol. Their last song was a Bon Jovi cover, "You Give Love a Bad Name" haha that was cool. We got home really around 1 or something? I dont remember I was BEAT and I took a shower and passed out. My scrape on my arm wasnt bleeding that much but it stung.. a lot O_O But It was a kickass show and I was happy my nose didnt get busted again haha.

Today I woke up sore and tired like a mofo. OMG I WAS TIRED!!! TIRED!!! and because of me being all tired and sore I was moody, really moody. I was just Ughhh Bleh Gleh the entire day. Pre-Cal I was normal tho cause Lee is just too koo to be moody around. But I got my sleeping shot!



It was early release so we had a larger lunch. I didnt speak with anyone I just walked around. Went in the office a few times looking for Mel but no dice. She was suppost to come over after school but that didnt work out, her mama doesnt like me *sigh* Well Its because I made her cry but still. Mama cant dislike me!! PFFT... Well after school Kris n Jake were going somewhere and I just wanted to go home, eat and sleep. My mom picked me up and got mcdonalds, ate it and slept until like 4. I remember Kris n Jake paying me a visit while I was sleeping. I just remember flicking them off and going back to sleep haha, I dont know why either lol.

Woke up did a bunch of nothing. Talked to Michelle for bout hour n a half. After that I played guitar until Mel called me. Spoke with her some and played more guitar. I learned Identity Crisis and T&C today, wewt. Spoke with Michelle for bout 30 more min then spoke with Mel until 11Pm then played some more guitar and now its late.. I need to take a shower n sleep.

Tomorrow is a field trip to FIU :) As Joe would say.. the place with "fresh seasoned papaya"

Before I go.. SHOW ALERT! ( I been wanting to go to a lot of shows lately lol)
-Buying Greenday/MCR tickets saturday morning
-Maybe going to NFG (dont really care about this one)
-Wanted to go to Otep with Jesse n Eric but changed my mind.. Gonna save money
-Papa Roach and Trust Company are coming to town. This makes me VERY VERY HAPPY. I wanna see Trust. Co really bad!
-Say Anything is coming, I MUST go to this show with Mel and Jake. I MUST, Nickel might be taking us.


Josh out

Yet another eventful weekend... Im trying to remember before the weekend tho. Mmmmm *thinks*

Tuesday (Feb 15th) I dont remember anything... I just remember after school Jake and I got a ride home with kevin. Arturo was with us and before we headed home we stopped at south dade park and Arturo ran outa the car into the tennis court where a bunch of skaters hang out and hit this guy in the balls and on the head lol. Jake and I were just like ... "??? ... Werd..." When he came back we found out it was this guy who kept messing with Kevins sister by pulling her underwear n stuff and he wouldnt stop. So that was koo. Stopped at Wendys afterwards and went home. Cant remember if anything happened afterwards :)

Wed (feb 16th) I came late to school, around 10:30. Stopped by 1st lunch to say hi to Michelle, Jake, Edwin n Gus but other than that Normal day of school ... I think... But uhm.. DOUBLE SLEEPING SHOT OH YA!



After school I think Jason n Siobhan were over some and later on Mike, My mom and I went to Dadeland Mall. I tried to get Mel to go with us but that didnt work out. Mikey bought me the Emery cd :) Thanks mikey! We then went to eat at Cheesecake Factory



Thursday (feb 17th) Now this I remember.. I was on time to school, actually early @ school since I arrived on the bus. The bell rang and I entered the school and Kurt n I walked Mel to class. She went in her class and the bell rang so Kurt n I were walking to our classes BUT the school did a lockdown and made everyone in the halls go to the auditorium... Wtf? Kurt being Kurt and not really caring being all "weee were going to the auditorim" kinda stuff while I was "WTF?". So we were in there with all the other LATE kids just sitting there. I was pretty pissed off but then Andrea came in (go figure, shes always late lolol) and we just chilled for about an hour. SINCE WE WERE STUCK THERE FOR THAT LONG UGH!



Went to Brandts afterwards to rant. Wee fun :)
4th period they were watching a movie so "F that". I got excused and went to 1st lunch. Chilled with Mel, Dalia, Joey n Jake. After 1st lunch I went to 2nd lunch. Met up with Michelle (in which we exchanged some interesting texts lol) and gave her a cookie I bought at Dadeland Mall the night before.




2nd lunch ended and chilled in Brandts for the rest of the period.

Last 2-4-6 day (Tuesday) Mel thought she was the better stalker so I would find her before and after her classes and wait for her ect. On Wed. she kinda beat me, bad... She came up to me that day and went "YOU LIED!" and I said "about whaT?" and she said "About coming to school at 10:30... YOU CAME AT 10:42!! HA!" I was just kinda ... "WTF!?" she checked my late pass on the raptrack ID thing. Errrr freakkyyy~ So for 6th period, we had just busy work and i was busting my ass to finish it as fast as I could to surprise Mel. As I was listening to music, concentrating on my work fully all asudden I see 2 elbows hitting my desk infront of me scaring the CRAP OUT OF ME and I look up and it was Mel. I was just like (#@%*(#@* RAR (#@Q%*(#@* she beat me to it =/ I finished my work a little after and went to the office to hang with Mel. We were listening to my IPOD and she put that 1 say anything song she dedicated to me and we just kinda lip singed it to eachother. That was special.

After school ... I dont remember... I did something but I cant remember... Doh =/ I dont remember when this was but my mom came home with a new stereo for my room out of randomness.. Whaooos coolnessessess. Since my old one broke~



Friday (Feb 18th) I went over Mel's house around 2PM and just chillaxed and helped out around the house with moving stuff. Matt (redneck 1) was also there but he was working for Timmy. Mel seemed close and distant at the same time, was odd.

Heres how Mels random mind works



At about 8PM Kris came and kidnapped me. We went to Arbetters for a couple of chilli dogs and cheese fries all the way in Kendall. On the way there a plate of somesort on the bottom of Kris's car was dragging on the street so after we got done eating we had to take it off. They guys that worked there kept trying to offer us free hot dogs but we were full. Headed home afterwards.

Saturday (Feb 19th) now this day rocked my socks. Why? TASTE OF CHAOS BIATCHES! It was such a DAMN GOOD SHOW! The best part of Buzz Bake Sale was during Taking Back Sunday, the entire show of Taste of Chaos (except during the used lol) was like that. Pure kick assness. I went with Joey, Barney, Kyle, Andrew and Jesse. We got there pretty early which was pointless since the gates opened an hour late anyways. While we were waiting Danny, Kori, Nick, Jenna, Allie n Trevor all met up with us. We later found Genesis, DJ, Christine ect. As the gates opeend we wondered around and I got a pizza. When the "other" gates opened to go into the seating area we all proceeded and were in the open area in the center. It was pretty crowded. The bands were suppost to start playing at 5PM but they didnt start till 6PM. I didnt bring my camera to the show because I was afraid it would get damaged.

The first band up was Static Lullaby. They were pretty good, I cant really say too much else about them but they put on agood show. I didnt know their music but we all digged it.

Up next was probaly the band I was waiting for the most. UNDEROATH and let me tell you. They rocked the stage, they had SO much energy and just did one of the best sets ive seen and heard. I jumped into the "pit" and tried to start 1 every song but it wasnt really possible because of all the damn people. Everyone kept kicking me n stuff along with the other few people who tried to pit. W/e losers. But I must Must MUST SEE THEM AGAIN! Underoath <3

After that was Killswitch Engage (Pics from Christines LJ)




They did AMAZING aswell. Kyle, Jesse and I were tired of the center so we moved towards the right of the stage where there were less people. And when the music started people starting going CRAZY, especially where we were. Since it was more open there were people moshing and we all jumped in. We were going nuts for all of killswitch. Some big guy kicked me really really hard and I went flying and I hurt my neck. Killswitch rox0rs so much :) Afterwards I met up with Adam D (the guitarist) and got his autograph. Its the only sig I wanted, cuz his guitar work rox and hes damn sexy in those shorts.



The next band up was Senses Fail



I was alone for this band. I stayed in the pit the entire time. They did pretty good but not as well as I was hoping for. Their sound was not set properly, the bass and treble were way too high but they still did awesome. I got punched in various areas Wewt~! lol

After that we all got together (Joey, Barney, Jesse, Kyle, Andrew, Danny, Allie n Trevor) for another AWESOME SET! MCR!! So greaT!!



We were ALL moshing together, omfg was so great. Even Joey n Allie were in it :) Hawt~ During the show when we were all ROCKING OUT I was tired as a mofo and caught my breath and heres come Danny Hicks BAM! Elbow in my nose. He got me really good and I started bleeding A LOT from my nose. I mean my nose was just pouring out blood and I used my wristband as a towel. It was pretty soaked in blood. After a few minutes i blew a lot of blood out of my nose and It stopped bleeding so i was just like "wewt okay im good" because everyone kept asking me if I was okay. Since I was okay at this point. I went back in and got kicked and punched some more. Man I had so much fun during MCR. Moshing with your buddies is great I tell ya, even with Trevor in which I dislike o' so much. MCR is GREAT live... GREAT!!

After that we all kinda took a break and got some air. The Used came on some time later and everyone was excited about them except for me. BECAUSE THEY SUCK! When they started we were all in the pit still and it was a pretty good first 2 or 3 songs. About the 3rd song Allie passed out right on Kyle and we carried her out of the crowd onto the fence and I gave her my water I had in my pocket (im prepared =p) and some medics came to check up on her. She was okay but she was dehyrdrated with no food in her and well. She got hit in the head. After awhile she was fine so Danny, Barney and I went back into the pit. As we were there Danny wanted me to go crowd surfing and I didnt really want to then he basically gave me the "CMON! look" so im just like F it ok. Barney, Danny and others lifted me up and as I was floating to the front my arm got caught between 2 poeple and busted my arm lol. That was fun tho, I bounced all over the place. The used played all the crappy new songs as they usually do. They were a disappointment at Buzz and they were a disappointment at Taste of Chaos. Why are they so big? Their new stuff sucks really bad.

It was an AMAZING show tho, I had so so so so so so so much fun. One of the best shows ive been to by far. We headed on the road and went home. When I got home I took a shower and washed my wristband. As I was washing my wristband blood was POURING out of it like.. omg.. there was so much blood in that thing haha. I only had 1 bruise. I thought id have like 20 on me, no exaggeration there either. But yeah I passed out after the shower.

The next day Sunday (Feb 20) I woke up sore... Everywhere. Especially my neck and back lol but later on People came over, a number of them lol O_O






The people that came over were *takes breath*: Jesse, Shelly, Jake, Eric, Barney, Summer, Richard, Corey, Allie, Joey, Becca, Becca BF, Tanya, Tanya BF, Oscar, Andrea, Rudy, Edwin, Desi, Juan, Micheal, Gus, John, James, Jason, Siobhan, Kris, Dirly and Marabel. There was suppost to be around 10 more people that were suppost to come over too O_O

It was a damn fun night.

We chilled out and did w.e. Later on we put a box in the middle of the road with cans on it with water in side and Micheal got his car and ran into them and the crap went flying into the air and everywhere. Haha was great.



And check out Joeys bruise from Taste of Chaos ~ Heh whao~ (Notice how its in a shape of a heart lol)



Everyone was gone around 1:30 AM. Fun stuff =)

Josh out

PS I need a different way of storing my picture archives. If anybody would like to help the Josh please comment.

Things certainly have changed.
Valentines was yesterday and as crappy as a day I expected it to be, it was actually good. Before I get into that...

On friday (feb 11) well it was a bad and confusing day. I was basically going to let go and I guess I did that day. It was a very bad day. When I got home a few people came over like Edwin, Rudy ect. After a couple of hours Joey n Barney came to kidnap me. They were gonna take me to the Falls and we got dropped off at the bus stop by Micheal n them. We waited over an hour for the bus and it didnt show up so we took a different bus to somewhere else. When we got to another bus stop we were talking to this guy from NY who was pretty interesting. We got to the falls a lil later and we bought some chocolates and by the time we got out of the store, the mall was closing so we had to leave. As we were about to leave we passed shibbys store and I wondered if she was working and sure enough she was. We got a ride with her and stopped at Wendys to get a bite to each. After that we headed back home, got jake and we watched Josie and the Pussycats. Interesting cute lil movie, the 2 girls r teh kawaii~ ^_^

Saturday (feb 12) I was feeling really bad about the day before so I decided to go to Mel's house and solve things... Well maybe not solve but uhm, try to put pieces back together. Things turned out well. Her friend or well one of the kids sister she babysits was there. At around 6 PM I left the house to head to the friday fest area where bands from Music Depot were playing. As I got there Michelle, Rudy, Edwin, Micheal n such were there. I hung out with Michelle most of the time, she was rather outgoing that night and thats... cool ^_^ Mel, Krystle, Nickel, Matt came sometime later. All pics from kurt








The bands were eh *cough*, I was there to support Nats n Savannahs band tho. After that I got a ride home with AJ, Barney n Lorena. We dropped off Jesse n headed to my house, when I was at the house Edwin, Rudy, Desi, Micheal n Juan were waiting so they came in. For the rest of the night I just talked to AJ about stuff.

Sunday (feb 13) Nothing overly exciting. Abby, Dalia n Gus came over and later on AJ n Barney came. Just chilled out for the night. I spent the night thinking how much Valentines day would suck.

Monday (feb 14th) Valentines day hooray? It was good! When I came to school I could "tell" it was going to be a bad day. Seeing everyone with valentines gifts for their valentine and then me with just... my lover jake but hey cant ask for more! After the bell rang I walked Allie to class then went to PC support. Normal morning then at around 9AM Mel showed up at the door. I was just like "eh? Whao~ ... hi?" she came late to school so I gave her a note and walked her to get her late pass and we went back into the PC office for a second because I had to get something. Walked to her class and I went in and the Hell Beast (the substitute they have) was still there since Mr Allen is still sick I suppose... Anyways I walked in handed Andrea a box of chocolates and she was happy about that :) Andrea means a lot to me. After I handed her that the Hell Beast said "excuse me young man?" and I just said sorry and walked out.

After that I walked into Michelle's homeroom to see her and we did an exchange. That was cool, and made the day better some more. I read her note and I kinda started to think some more. I suck and the situation is my fault... I suck~ It was then Pre-Cal. Gave Joey a box of chocolates when I came in and she started to tear and gave me a really big hug. Normal day of pre-cal tho ~





At lunch Mel was there. I sat with Mel, Dalia n Joey. After 3rd period was Shipp. Regular class of shipp *shrug* After that school was over and I got a ride home with Kevin with Jake. When I got home my mom had to go to work early so i was just Ok... Then she found out she had some extra time and she dropped me off at Mels house. I called Mel to come outside and she said "I swear to god if your outside im going to shit myself" and she opened the door and said "Ok i gotta shit now". lol~ I gave her a teddy bear and stayed inside some. Things r better~ Krystle had to go to nightschool so i got a ride with her to the school and I was gonna take the 70 bus home but i was at the stop going hmmmm. So i called Lee to see what was up and she picked me up. We hung out for a couple of house, went to winn dixie, blockboster n got back to the house. And due to my computer geek nature I cleaned her compute lol =p I had dinner there aswell, her mom knows how to cook well. Maybe ill stop by more often keke ^_^ She dropped me off home and I talked to Andrea a lil then Michelle until I went to sleep at like 10PM.

Valentines day was a good day, complete opposite than I expected. Josh is happeh~

Josh out

Its friday morning and I was on the edge of just sleeping in but I had to go for something so I just went. It was cold out and when I got to school I just wanted to sit somewhere, listen to music and lay my head down. But eh

I said last night if I was being pushed away I should just let go. Not because I want to but maybe because I should. I keep making mistakes without me realizing that they are indeed mistakes. Im trying to do the right things so much they come out the other way around. Suppose its just my nature and ill just accept it. Let go... I said I wouldnt but I have to now.

Its time to move again.
Done it before, and its all too familiar.

Josh out

Eh so much for that, once up I go down.

Today was a normal day of school. Took a pre-cal test... Thats bout it. After 5th period mel was waiting for me which was a surprise because she wasnt in school like she said she wouldnt be last night. I was happy and we walked outside. Went down. Forgot my hat in shipps, had to go run and get it.

Michelle pointed something out. Ive been "blah" pretty much the entire senior year sofar. Actually ive been blah the ENTIRE year. I dont know why either, I know a few things that bring me down. Found something that makes me really happy but someone better found the same thing. Maybe I should let go, its almost like a useless struggle but only... not so useless. I cant compare and if I put myself out of the equation it would simplify a lot of things.

My mom came back home today... When i got home i took a long nap. I had a lot on my mind and a way for me not thinking is to sleep. Doesnt work out that way all the time since i often dream about what i was thinking about before i fell asleep. Rudy, Edwin n Micheal came over for a little. Put new strings on the SG, gave me something to do and keep my mind on.

Quote from today "Why does everyone love the korean so much?" I dont feel this love

Things were simplier last year. I miss it

Ruin
Josh out

Yesterday night mel called me telling me she did something drastic and i guessed she dyed her hair and i guessed what color as well and she told me to be there in the morning so i came to school on time waiting for as (eric was aswell) but she didnt show up. I was a bit disappointed but I was ok because id see her later in the day so i was just like okie~ then when i was in the PC support office a minute after i got there i look back and theres mel. Her hair was reddish brown, more towards the brown side. She looked amazing, my mouth wasnt big enough to express the smile i felt. She got to school right on the bell and she couldve made it to class on time but she stopped by to say Hi to me, so I went to the cafeteria with her to get a late pass, i couldnt wait with her cuz i had to go.

After 2nd period, it was homeroom. I waited infront of Michelle's portable like i always do. Saw michelle, said hi and mel came along. Said my hellos to ppls then headed out. I stole Mel for homeroom, we sat in the archives. Joshies smile got bigger inside~ Afterhome room was 4th period, Krystal was there and she looked really good today. First thing i thought when i saw her, i was just liek.. whao lookin good today. Just hung out in spanish until lunch. Normalish lunch~






After lunch I wrote a note to michelle about things because we both were gonna write to eachother on uhm things. After 4th period Michelle was running out withsomeone but she handed me her note and i handed hers. When i was about to go into the classroom I felt a kiss on the cheek. It was mel, Joshie smiled more. Half the class left for 6th period because of the honor roll thing and we werent doing anything. I was so happy today i just had to write Mel a note telling her how happy i was so i did. Then i thought of any excuse i possibly could to give it to her and cody and I eventually got out of the class for alittle. When we walked to the PC Support Office Mel, Eric, Victor n JR were there. Josh looked at Mel, Mel looked at josh and smiled some more. Brandt got mad at every1 because there was so many people so the people who werent suppost to be there had to leave. Cody, Mel n I walked to the office and we saw the Honor Roll ppl coming back to class so Mel walked me to class while cody was looking for yesenia. Gave Mel the note, smiled and went back into the class. There was about 40 minutes left so I just sat in my desk in my own joy listening to my music. When the bell rang, I put my hat and bookbag on and walked out of class. I usually look down when im walking but i looked up and there was Mel waiting infront of the door smiling at me. Joshie smiled a lot. She walked me infront of the school until I left. I was going home with Joe and I had to leave but she didnt want me to, she just looked at me and smiled. Josh smiled some more and left.

Went to Joes car and headed home, I was really hungry so we went to Burger King after we got my house. Ate there but as joe was carrying the tray to the table he dropped my drink and soda went all over the table. I was all "Uhmmm should we clean this up?" and joe was all "F that". So we ate with a big puddle of coke next to us lol.

After i got to my house Joe headed home and called back and came back with his brother. His brother had his guitar and Joe had to go for an hour. For the hour he was gone I just jammed out with his brother. He had this lead and a rythm idea and we just worked out with that. That was fun, gonna do that more often. Cool guy, hes really tall like Joe. Joe came back and left with his brother.

I was gonna have study group but i couldnt get ahold of the girls so that didnt work out, so i just went to my bed to sleep but then joey called. She headed over and we talked for a few minutes but we were dead tired so we took a nap on the couches. We slept about an hour n a 1/2 or so and woke up and attempted to do some pre-cal. But Joel came and picked up joey to get some food. He came back and were gonna work on some pre-cal but i was sewing lol. Joey had to go around 9 but Barney was over. Burned him a few cds and then he had to go. Called Mel and talked to her for an hour. Ponder ponder ponder. Life is just a big confusing sphere.

As i was talking to mel, some odd reason i had the urge to check the mail and I did. There was a package to me and i opened it and uhm. The biggest surprise. A guitar strap with my name on it. I was just like OMFG!!! OMFG!!! Ooo!!! sounds really geeky and lame but awhile ago i was an add at the end of rolling stones magazine about custom made straps where u can put a name or anything on it and im like hey thats really cool a nerdy way... but as you know... nerdyness is koo to me so i wanted it but i never mentioned it to anyone. I just thought it would be cool. I think my dad gave it to me, actually I know he did. That is the COOLEST present anyones ever gotten me. I cant believe it, its like my dad read my mind. I guess he knows me pretty well, I really love my dad. Haha thats so cool!!! Josh smiled A LOT :)



Well im rather happy with today. Josh hasnt smiled so much in a long time. Things werent perfect because of certain situations but... im happy.

Some things are worth waiting for.
Josh out

Josh is confuzzled once again ~ O_O

Guess ill recap yesterday n today.

Monday (Feb 7) I wasnt going to school and i told people cuz well.. I wasnt going to sleep because i wanted to sleep in and whoever wanted to come over n skip they could. Around 9AM i was sleeping and i get awaken by a loud knocking on my slide glass window. It was Edwin N Rudy and 2 other gentlemen, and uh i dunno if i should tell this story but ill leave it at that. They went or got sent back to school... After that around 10:30AM Krystle, Micheal, Michelle, Jake n Freb came over. We just chilled until we had to go back. I talked to Michelle, bit more too hum... Josh not sure what to do. Confusing and complicated while another is simple yet difficult. Freb wanted cigs so i bought my first pack of cigarretes that day! OOoo!!! The ass's didnt even carded me, i was hoping to get carded but nope... They had "We Card For Tabacco" everywhere too.. LIES~!

After every1 went back home Jesse n Eric showed up and we went to guitar center for a few hours. I played this 3000$ acoustic guitar that sounded purdy~ Later Eric was playing this 2100$ PRS guitar. We just messed around with a buncha stuff, i bought 2 pairs of strings. I talked to mel for a minute and next minute Jesse calls saying "Were leaving get to the car quick!" and i knew it was a trick and im like "I know this trick pfft" but i went to the car anyway and when i walked outa the building it was Eric n Jesse yelling from the roof O_O So i just got a starbucks lol. After that we headed home (after stopping at city furniture so eric could interrigate me =p). For the rest of the night i talked to assorted ppl~ and just thought about stuff.

Today~ FCAT DAY~! Wewt~ I woke up around 8AM cuz barney came over and i fell asleep for another hour until Kris n Joey came over. We headed to chuck wagon for breakfast. After that we went to Specs for awhile. After specs Barney, Joey n I headed back to School. Joey n I went to Pre-cal. Mr Leon showed us what was gonna be on the test and then we had to entertain ourselves for the rest of the time. Lee and Natalie had no problem with this.




then it was 5th period but i didnt go cuz shipp probly wasnt even there so I spent it with Mel. She was angry at me first because i told her the night before the plan was Barney, Joey n I would be taking a metro to school late but it got changed. So she kept waiting for me to show up almost the entire day of school. ^_^

After school i got a ride home with Kevin. Took a nap, Mel left a message of her reading a poem to me. Woke up cuz Eric n Jesse showed up. Got jake and we headed to the Falls. Got my IPOD fixed (wewt!) and uhm got a cookie! (wewt!) and uh... got my okleys aligned! (Wewt!) then after a few hours of chilling we headed home.

Tomorrow is a normal day of school so uh josh is gonna go heh.

Josh out

I kinda calmed down...

To start off.. Earlier in the friday day.. During school~
Pre cal! lol


Virginia gave me a bag of 18 MM's for my birthday and during Pre-Cal lee gave me this box that was professionally wrapped in Curious George wrapping paper and i opened it and what was it? Cmon guess.. Cmonnn~~~ Well lol~ It was a man thong in the shape of a heart O_O Wewt Lee just for you bay beh~

Later on friday AJ and Stephanie Sardines showed up... It was really odd seeing stephanie because well. I knew her since princeton and we never spoke to eachother but shes actually pretty darn koo. Her looks are deceiving, because you see her as some preppy bitch but shes straight.

Barney showed up too~ AJ n Steph left. Jake came.. chilled for the night. Barney tried stealing shit tho.



but no.. that wasnt enough.


So he stole the big tv!!!!
Well actually since it broke, ppl took it to repair it.

I talked to Mel at night, she thinks so low of herself because of things that happened in the past and i hate it... I really do.

Saturday (Feb 5th) I wanted to be alone because i was just yeah.. Then gus called and wanted to come over with dalia. And well im calm with those 2 so i just said yeah. They came over and we just relaxed, they brought me some soda n chips. Nice :) Sometime later Jake came aswell n we started to watch Dawn of the Dead. During the movie Joey showed up with her cousins n some other people and brought me a cake and everyone sung happy birthday to me. That was SO cool, i love joey so much. I LOVE YOU JOEY! <3 They left and so did Gus n Dalia. So jake and I watched the rest of the movie. At the end of the movie Jesse and Eric knock on the slide glass window and scare the LIVING CRAP OUT OF ME but i was like oh cool, since they came. But as soon as they came in the BS happened. Barney showed up a few min after they came. Im dealing with enough right now, and theres a lot on my mind and the least thing i need is for my limit to be pushed and my limit was pushed. I have not became so angry in a very long time, my mom got my VERY angry about the kicking the friends out of the house awhile ago but this just surpassed that. Then bringing up things with Mel was getting to me too. W/e

Today I wanted to see Mel, I really really wanted to see her. Nickel came around 3:30PM with Krys and picked me up and we went to the house. Nickel had to go so it was just me. Josh was all ... yeah ... from the past 2 days but Mel just put a smile on my face again. Later on their redneck friend Matt came. Hes cool but omg... he is a TRUE redneck, its funny. Kris came around 9PM and we ate dinner with Krys/Mel then after that Kris dropped me off.

Its funny how it was me that didnt want to be with anyone and didnt want a relationship at first but now its the other way around. I swear everythings a huge circle that just rotates every which way.

My mom is gone for a few days and i havent heard from my dad in a few days. Dad if you read this CALL ME TOMORROW PLEASE!!!!


Josh out

The smiles are gone.

Today was horrible. Ever since the god forsaken day of Feb 2nd I feel worse than i have ever in a long time. Nothings going right. Even materialistic things for crying out loud. My IPOD died, the TV stopped working. Its amazing how much company a TV is during dinner when your dining alone. Its like a void of loneliness when all you have without it is a light above you, a window to look out of but theres nothing to look at and just the silence and solitude of yourself.

Did i lose what could be one of the best things to happen to me? I loop the sounds that make me feel its still there when i close my eyes.

I dont know...

Josh out

Josh went to school... Josh went to all his classes *gasp*... Josh n Jesse got a ride from Michelle and her mom to Jesses house. Josh n Jesse then ate at Chinese buffet. Josh n Jesse walk to Music Depot. Josh n Jesse chill... Josh n Jesse get company from Ross, Brandon n Dusty showing up randomly. Josh gets more company by Nicole appearing. Joshie walkes outside to Nicoles car to find Mel N Krystle. Josh became really happy. Mel walk Josh back to door and say bye. Josh was happy to see Mel. Josh n Jesse then walked back to house. Josh gets dropped off at home.

Random pics from Feb 1 and 2nd (or atleast a few that didnt get deleted...)







Feb 2nd- "From me to you" - Mel

I want to know your plans and how involved in them I am.
When I go to sleep for good will I be forgiven?
And if you want roses you can go buy a bouquet.
If that just won't cut it, well what can I say.
You're what keeps me believin the world's not gone dead,
Strength in my bones put the words in my head.
When they pour out to paper.
It's all for you.
Cause that's what you do.
Thats what you do.

Josh *smiles* out

Today is horrible, not only is it as bad as i thought it would be but its actually worse. Im completely miserable right now and theres nobody here or anything. On one of the most "exciting" days of my life, im having probly one of the "worst" experience. The past few days have just been entirely shitty as good as they shouldve been. Ugh~ I hate birthdays i really do, especially this one.

As for today i deleted a lot of the pictures on my phone accidently. But whatever. Why would i want to remember today anyways. All today made me realize is how much i screw up and how much of a failure i really am. Now that im 18 and i "start my life", i have no life to start.

Tues (feb 1) Skipped 2nd, walked to Dannys house with Mel n Krystle to say happy birthday to him but uhm he was... busy... Went back to school. Normal rest of the day. Went to Mels/Krystles after school wth Eric. Around 6 my mom came and picked up Mel n I. Went to house for a lil, then Mike, Mel n I went to Sunset to see House of Flying Daggers. Went to Bahama Breeze afterwards for dinner and my mom was with us. They singed Happy Bday for me. I was actually happy that day. As bad as i was feeling Mel wouldnt let me be down, and i wasnt.

Today... Didnt go to school. Eric, Mel, Krystle and I went to the park across from CVS for awhile. Eric went back to school for 3rd. The 3 of us stayed in South Dade park for a little then went to Frebs house until school ended. I was completely MISERABLE the entire time. With everyone trying to cheer me up i coudlnt. Mel got a smile out of me here and there but still. Only time i was calm was when I took a nap with Mel. That was nice until I woke up to find a bunch of pictures of us on my phone (which accidently got deleted, go me). My mom picked us up at 2:30 and i went over to their house to eat some cake and my mom came back about an hour later to go back home. I slept for awhile because i had nothing better to do, then sat in my room. It would be nice atleast if those pictures that got deleted didnt get deleted by my own stupidity.

I had a few happy birthdays and they did mean a lot to me. Thank you Jesse, Janae, Alyssa, Alley, Mel, Krystle, Eric, Shelly, Milena, Holly, Katie, Ross, Freb, Lee, Michelle, Summer and especially my mom, dad and my aunt for saying happy birthday to me.

Thanks in specific for Mel spending today and yesterday with me and making feel atleast, alive i suppose. Michelle for singing to me and us being friends even if we broke up, I (as she would say it) LUSH! Michelle. Jesse for his always interesting messages but this one especially and being there, one of the best things that happened to me is becoming a good friend of jesses and i treasure that. Shelly for being, shelly. There is no futher explanation needed PERIOD! Shelly Pwn~ Krystle for being there through my senior year. Thankful for Alley and I becoming friends again, its like a missing piece of me has been filled. Holly, Alyssa and Janae~ Even though we dont talk much anymore we have a good past with lots of good memories, thinking about it makes me laugh. Summer because shes such a great person, we werent really on good terms before because we didnt speak to eachother that much but now we hang out more and are at places together like LEES PARTY! Wee~ Summer is gr8! Lee one of the COOLESt people i met this year, i could just sit down and be brain dead but the thoughts of "Lee is so cool" just comes to mind. Joey and I could talk forever about the coolness of lee. My mom and dad even if i am a failure, theyre always there... Sorta... Even if ones in Korea while the other is in South Africa or w.e~ O_O

Im 18... Its just a number, i dont have to be a complete adult just be more responsible my dad says. But i have to... im graduating with not a sure path on what to do or go. This year is passing by so fast, high schools over and theres no goign back in time to relive the great times i had in South Dade. Ive changed so much from the 9th to 10th grade, i actually became a content person even if there was BS drama like girl stuff or friend stuff.

Things wont be the same anymore

Josh out